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7 / 11 / 2011 @ 20:18

i mean you dont even make me happy anymore. i keep wishing this is the conversation that’ll bring everything back. this is the time you’ll finally pick up the phone. 

no.

i am the only fucking one trying. you dont understand. why wont you just put in some effort? i know there’s miles and miles of distance between us but im still strong. i still want to make this work. i still care for you.

what the fuck do you even feel for me anymore?

every time we talk it’s just sad. it’s a sad excuse for a conversation. 
I initiate the conversation.

I call you.

i know you have friends who are depressed and everything, and you feel the need to help them in their times of need. and i respect that, help them if youd like.

but why the fuck does it mean you dont have time for me anymore?

im so done. just sometimes… i cant take it anymore.

i can never hate you. Never.

but sometimes i just loathe the way your thoughts and clear headedness are hindered.

i fucking love you so. much. im whipped for you. you were once whipped for me. now where the fuck did that go? i mean seriously. there is absolutely no reason, why you should stop in a relationship.

when i told you it was hurting me, you told me to keep holding on and fight through. i am! practice what your preach.

california and texas. its a long way, i know. but we can make this work. im willing to wait because i was on cloud nine with you once before. and we hadnt even physically touched each other yet.

fuck. just god. why cant you understand how much i love you. why did you change. ive noticed, have you? is this on purpose.

im just. god i love you..

why wont you love me again..